I spoke at great length with a good friend of mine last night. One of our many topics of conversation was adulthood, or maturity: whether we felt "grown up" now that we had been out of university for a while. As I drove on the Merritt this morning, commuting home from voting in New Haven, I was thinking about what I had learned this past year as a newly-fledged adult. Yes, I have learned about the responsibility of having steady employment, maintaining my home, supporting myself, and establishing a network of friends. But I have also learned about the freedom of an open, sunlit road, as well as the stagnation of heavy traffic. I have learned when to reach out and when to crawl in; when to be sincere and when to fake it; when to look someone in the eyes and say "No", and when to bow my head and whisper "Yes". I have learned that the strongest of relationships are built on trust and respect, not mere attraction. I have learned how to be generous because, for the first time, I realize I have something to give. And I have learned too how to grieve because, for the first time, I realize I have something to lose.
"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates." (Szasz) I hope that I never fully become an adult; I hope that, like a child, I keep learning, keep building something, trying new things, pushing forward into the unknown, the unknowable, creating meaning out of the people and places in my life.